DiLeMma

 

Yah,that words mentioned above is right..Now,i'm really2 dun know how to say..Too many bad feeling in my mind and need to think even i dun know how to solve all kinds of feeling that I've..Nobody knows what happened on myself..nobody...I've hubby and baby besides me and maybe i can shared everything to them but this time  i dun think so cause i prefer to keep itself in my heart..but how long???

I'm not strong to faced it alone but what can i do??*Teared eyes*...I admit,sometimes too fragile for through everything but i dun have any chance..Who i am to avoid the fate?? Bukan sape2... :(

I am in dilemma..Dilemma to make decision..Decision that will annoy many person..not only me,not only hubby but everyone who's closest with me..

But at the same time,how about my feeling?? Is it i need to pretend that I'm okay? but otherwise I'm not..

Sorry,that so not me cause i can't to do like that..However,i must make a decision sooner or later coz I really2 can't stand with this situation anymore...truly hurt...

Honestly,from deep of my heart,i have too many dreams that need to be goal but i'm not sure either it will be the reality or not..I hope so...maybe not today but eventually..Aminnn..

I'm just human being..had a mistakes,flaws and i'm realize that i'm not perfect but at least i still having a feelings same goes to everyone..I dun want anything but enough for me if my life will be smooth as well..

That's all..Is it too much guys?? Life is hard but sometimes its beautiful..Life without obstacles is not life..Yah,i know that..but when the obstacles comes up to me,a little bit makes me down and literally broken my heart,disturb my mood,and make me cry a whole nite..that's me.. I'm rarely to cry in front of the loved person but if I do means i can't stand anymore..

Mine was really in hard position just now..its looks like "Diluah mati emak,ditelan mati bapak",,so how could?? Tired to thinking what i've to do...Ya Allah,pls show me the right way.I'm begging to you..Pls open my heart to makes the right decision..Indeed,i'm a weak slave dan hanya padaMU tempatku meminta...Amin..

For now,just stay strong and keep calm..waiting and continue waiting "sinar bahagia" appear in my life..

Msg for myself :

"Be STRONG now..because things will get better..It may be stormy now but It can't rain forever"

-If Allah will-